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The Meaning in Suffering

Every single human on earth will suffer at some point in their life. It’s a basic fact that we have all come to terms with. I would go as far to say that everyone lives in some form of constant suffering. Even the on the happiest days, impending deadlines and memories of past pain are just a thought away.

Okay, quite a pessimistic opener. How on earth is this going to be spun into an interesting, somewhat positive thought experiment about meaning?

Firstly, I should begin with the simple fact that some suffering is more severe than others. Naturally, the slight uncomfortable feeling of a warm pillow against your head as you are trying to sleep is nothing compared to the deep grieving of a loved one.

I really like the way Carol Ann Duffy puts it in her poem “War Photographer”. After touching on the horror of warfare, the speaker comes “Home again to ordinary pain which simple weather can dispel”. These “ordinary pains” we come across on a daily basis are nothing that can’t be dismissed by the plain satisfaction and happiness that comes with pleasant weather.

You could argue there is seemingly no meaning in this sort of suffering. It’s over with in less than a day. I disagree and think it does serve a purpose.

I believe, as is commonly taught as a Christian principle stemming from the ancient wisdom of St Augustine, that suffering in life helps us to appreciate the good moments. How would we truly be able to appreciate the heat, light and beautiful sunsets of the summer months if we have not already experienced the cold, short days and biting winds of winter?

Suffering, at least in the small sense that we can all put up with, should, in my opinion, be something we don’t take for granted. Instead, attempting to find happiness in the fact that when suffering ends we can greater appreciate the good things is a more productive mindset to hold.

So, that’s how to find meaning in the “ordinary pains”. Now, is it even possible to find resolve in these “spools of suffering” Duffy also talks about?

A man who knows firsthand the harsh, abhorrent nature of “real” suffering is Viktor E Frankl. In his book “Man’s Search For Meaning”, he details very vividly how he survived the multiple concentration camps he was subject to in Nazi Germany. He recounts the shock of arrival and the contrasting desensitisation he felt after being a victim of daily abuse.

If there is anyone who knows how to find meaning in suffering, it’s him.

In fact, he believes “if there is a purpose to life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and dying”. Living is suffering and to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.

“Okay great, what’s Frankl’s fix then?” you may be impatiently wondering so you can magically cure all of your problems and find internal purpose of your life.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news; there is no easy fix. “The meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning meaning of a person’s life at a given moment”.

The whole point of the book is to set people on a journey of self-discovery and to help them begin the journey to finding their own meaning in life. “Meaning”, whatever that word truly represents, is not some easy quick fix to end up in a state of blissful happiness, it’s perhaps more of a representation of life itself.

The simple truth is that you have to really dig deep and find the things you care about to get yourself through the suffering and by extension, life.

To finish, I’d like to forward Frankl’s warning about pursuing plain success: “The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it”. Don’t aim for becoming the most successful at anything because it simply cannot be achieved. It must ensure (come as a byproduct of) from the unselfish cause of surrendering yourself to others and life greater than your own.

If an entrepreneur worked on the sole goal of “making the most money”, they would struggle greatly. Instead if they changed their mindset to instead focusing on providing the most value to people, then the money would just roll in.

To conclude: appreciate the daily suffering because it makes pleasure all the more satisfying; set your life goal to finding purpose; and don’t aim directly at success.

Sources, references and further readings:

#Meaning #Existentialism